I'll be honest, I did not have the major self-discovery experience that I was hoping for in Southeast Asia. I think I expected to because you always hear the cliche stories of people going to Thailand to "find themselves." I've been at an unsure place in my life recently so as cliche as it was, I guess I was hoping in the back of my mind that I would have a moment of clarity while abroad and come back a different person. It didn't happen as profoundly as that, but I did come back with some lifestyle changes to implement.
Something that really struck me about Asia, Cambodia in particular, was how dirty it was. The larger cities had that gross-big-city feel like all big cities do, I didn't feel like they were any different than large cities in the United States. But as we drove though Siem Reap, Cambodia, a small, very poor city, I couldn't stop looking at the trash that was strewn everywhere. And after talking to our tour guide for the day about it, I understood why. He said that the people there are often not educated after the sixth grade and that they don't understand the connection between trash and the environment. They don't view things in the long term. If you throw your trash outside, there's no bigger picture. Sure, the trash stays on the ground outside, but they don't view it as a problem for the larger community or the world.
It got me thinking about the elitist views we have about saving the planet in the United States. It's easier than ever to be eco-friendly, but it's not always the cheap thing to do. A lot of us are privileged to be able to buy reusable bags, food storage, eco-friendly straws, and make the switch to vegan or vegetarian. But for those who don't have as much expendable income, it can be hard. All of those things cost money. Vegetarian and vegan food is far more expensive than processed food and animal proteins. When you have to think about feeding your children or reducing your carbon footprint, the kids are probably going to win. It's easy to say that everyone should be contributing to help the environment, and I don't disagree that there are little things that everyone can do. But to shame others for not being vegan/vegetarian or not using reusable household materials comes from a place of privilege. It's a problem in the United States and it's even more of a problem in developing countries like Cambodia.
I don't blame those people. They're doing the best with what they have. It just means that those of us who are able to do more for the environment than those who aren't able to. Which is part of the reason that I decided to go veggie. I do my best at home to reuse what I can, only buy food I'm going to eat to reduce food waste, conserve water, etc. but going vegetarian does help too. I know everyone always says that one person can't make an impact, but if millions of people are saying that and they actually decided to do it, it could make a real difference. Even if it's not full on vegetarian or vegan, reducing the amount of meat I consume will help me feel like I'm doing more for the environment.
It was also our tour guide in Siem Reap that encouraged me to look into Buddhism. I haven't been a religious person since high school. I found Christianity, especially Catholicism to be extremely hateful. They preach love and acceptance but at mass one day, the priest leading the service denounced gay people and even as a young child, I couldn't understand how they could say that. I remember thinking that it conflicted with everything I was taught up until then, that I should love my neighbor and enemy. As time went on, I found other people that I knew and that I read about in the news that claimed to be Christians to be filled with hate as well and since then, I haven't considered myself religious at all, but that's a whole other blog post.
Our guide, Jack, was Buddhist and he described Buddhism not as a religion but a philosophy to help guide you through life. That appealed to me right away. I hate being told what to do, especially by a book that may or may not have been written thousands of years ago by someone that may or may not have existed. Being told that I am going to Hell for stupid reasons doesn't make me want to do the right thing. People shouldn't have to be guilted into doing the right thing, they should just do it because it's the right thing. Buddhism is all about karma, what you put into the world is what you get out. That's the part that resonated with me the most. It's something that I try to do every day anyway. I always say, "It doesn't cost anything to be nice." My title is misleading, I'm not a Buddhist yet. It should say, "girl who is aspiring to learn more about Buddhism," but that's not a catchy title.
I didn't come back to the States a new person. But I did come back with some lifestyle changes that I want to implement in my day to day. It's been a week since I've been back and I have strove to be more mindful of how I treat others every day, even if I'm not having a good one, and be mindful of what I put in my body, which I think everyone could stand to do. If anything, being in Southeast Asia for two weeks reaffirmed my deepest belief: that seeing the world makes you a better person. If you can't see past your own doorstep, you likely have no empathy for those who are not like you, who have a different way of life or hold different beliefs. You can read about them and look at photos, but nothing will compare to traveling to those places and seeing it in real life. Nothing can compare to the discussions you have with local people and the perspectives you hear that are not your own.
Anthony Bourdaine said it best, "Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life — and travel — leaves marks on you."
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